October 2, 2010
I went to Muchas Gracias last night. Muchas Gracias wishes it was El Taco. Lower quality food at higher prices? No deal! In any case, I go there from time to time because it's close, and last night the waitress asked how I was doing. I gave her the usual, "Oh, I'm great, how are you?" She replied honestly, saying that she would rather be at home. I knew what she meant, that she would rather be resting at home than working late hours at a sub-par Mexican restaurant. I responded to that with an absent-minded, "Oh, me too." I doubt she understood what I meant. It's sort of an odd thing to say. I didn't mean that I wanted to be back at my dorm. I meant that I was homesick for Springfield.
Don't get me wrong. Life here is more than I could have ever imagined for myself. I'm learning, growing, making friends. It's just that I left a lot at home. Not only did I leave the people that I love, the people that helped me grow in my faith, the people that made me feel whole and worth something for the first time in my life, but I also left some unhealed wounds, some unanswered questions, some unresolved issues. Those loose ends have, in a way, tethered me to my past in a way that is difficult to cope with.
On the other hand though, I am happy. I am happy because I feel like I am where God wants me. That is a good feeling. That knowledge alone is enough to keep me going, to help me move forward. It is so unnerving to have to totally trust His plans, but I'm learning. Sometimes God needs us to be uncomfortable for a little bit so that we will grow to become the men and women He knows we can be. Plants will never outgrow their pots, but if replanted, they can flourish. That's actually a Boy Meets World analogy (thank you Mr. Feeny).
On a totally different note, I am thrilled to announce that my cousin, Miss Morgan Rae Magill, has been hired to work at Disney World for a seven month program (I think that's how long it is). She flew through an application and an interview and must have been one of the first chosen because she was alerted long before she expected to be. None of it surprises me a bit. Morgan is absolutely perfect for the job. She relates to people amazingly, she is hilarious, she pretty much embodies the Disney spirit. It's about time things go her way. I've been praying for her the whole way through and now God's given her something absolutely perfect. She starts in January and will be missed dearly but we'll visit her. I'm setting aside money for it already.
I've been struggling with body issues lately (more than usual), so I've decided to get proactive about it. I usually try to approach this issue with week-long exercise binges that leave my body wrecked for awhile. This time I'm starting with my diet, though the exercise component is coming soon, I assure you. In fact, I would already be working out if my friends remembered to invite me when they worked out. Anyway, I decided to cut out soda, which isn't too tough, as well as limiting my meals to one serving. With buffet style meals, it's way too easy to overeat. Fingers crossed.
Choir's kicking my butt (in a good way, I guess). The time commitment is almost as substantial as it was in high school, which I didn't think was possible. The pace is crazy, and it's really pushing me to grow as a singer, which is awesome, but for weeks I was confused as to whether I was a tenor 1 or 2. Turns out I'm a tenor 2 (I think). And everyone is so TALENTED! Not just the older students, either. The kids my age are already super talented as well. It's motivation to try that much harder, to rise above. After all, I could barely sing or read music at all when I came into high school. One thing I seem to be able to do as well as most of the kids in choir is read rhythms. And my sight-singing of pitches is a lot better than I had previously thought. All the effort will prove worth it, I'm sure.
There's almost definitely stuff I've forgotten to include. I should start carrying a memo pad around with me all week so that I know what to blog about by the end of the week.